Chaotic Whimsy
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“Everyone is springing forward, I’m only falling back.”
A world that never stops spinning

It’s the anniversary of 9/11, and I’m doing my best to stay media dark. I unintentionally get emotional and don’t want to be a sobsack today. A lot people are sharing that moment that they learned about the towers getting hit and I felt like I wanted to share, but mine is a little weird, as usual.

We’ll go back about 2 weeks before the travesty that rocked our nation to it’s core-to my dreams. Granted, I normally have insane dreams that involve wrestling alligators or purple dragons. Ever so often, I have a dream that just shakes me and just sticks in my head for days. I can’t be for sure of the exact date, but I beleive it was roughly 2 weeks prior to 9/11.

My dream was simple. I was in madrigal practice in our choir room and all of us were sitting in chairs in various circles throughout the room. Everyone was kind of grey and blurred, but I remember distinctly hearing a girl that was a year old than I, Beth Park, say, “How could they do this? I don’t understand how someone could do this.” I remember feeling sick in the dream, like nothing was right and the world was spinning to fast. That’s all I really remembered the next day and it really bothered me and ate at my brain for the next few days. I then in my normal fashion, promptly forgot about it.

The morning of September 11th, I was on my way to school. Late. I was driving my silver 1994 Jeep Grand Cherokee and listening to the radio. All of the sudden in the middle of a song, the DJ comes on in an excited almost yelling voice, “The WTC has been hit by a plane! Oh my God! Oh my God! The tower in New York has been hit!” My heart stopped about a block away from school. I hurriedly parked and ran to a few of my friends and asked if they had heard. I’m sure I didn’t make much sense. When I get excited and try to communicate, I often don’t make much sense. We all went to class as the tardy bell sounded and seconds after sitting in my cold desk the loud speaker announced to turn our televisions on NOW. We sat in horror as we watched the second plane hit. My stomach turned and my eyes welled up. I knew the death was reigning down on New York and it’s inhabitants. My head started swirling with thoughts and the next few classes were nothing but the TV being on and people talking. Then the bell rang for my next class, madrigals. I didn’t think anything of it until I heard Beth Park say,” How could they do this? I don’t understand how someone could do this.” I sad there in a stunned stupor as my dream came rushing into my head. I couldn’t believe it.

(via gogogogh)

I’m looking at you motor vehicle industry…

I do a great deal of thinking in my car, well, when I’m not jamming out and having red light concerts.

It’s the most quiet time in my day. Maybe not the quietest, but the most focused-Lord knows I’m not much for concentration. I was sitting in traffic today trying to will the person in front of me to move and I started thinking about things that I wish were part of my car. I’m not talking about leather seats or a sunroof, which would be cool, but something more useful.

1. I think all cars should come standard with a voice dictation software. Not to get all Knightrider, but a way to safely put thoughts down. Trying to type these things in on a cell phone or write them down can kill you, and we all know that death is a bad thing. There would be ranges of uses, your neo-hippie writing addict would use it for expressing their emotions at a moments notice. Social media addicts could totes grumble on facebook or twitter that the guy in front of them is allergic to the speed limit without lifting a finger. Professional yuppie people could use it for legit business purposes, pssh, whatever-who would want that?!

I mean, come on, this should happen! We’ve all seen the internet videos about the dangers of texting and driving. I know I’ve tried to write something down before I forget it and wind up going the non-right way on a one way street.( I’m embellishing there, I’ve never done that. Yet.)

2.) A tiny fridge to keep my beverages chilled. I know, I know, they have little ones you can plug into your DC (cigarette) adapter (as evidenced here:, but I don’t want to have to make the decision between a tasty cold soda and charging my cell phone! How much better would a long commute or even a road trip be if you could just reach into your handy little car fridge and enjoy a root beer? There would be less road rage for sure. That opinion is based solely on the whole “give the world a coke” movement.

Anyway, these are just 2 random ideas that I think should happen in the vehicle industry to make a daily drive so much more made of awesome.  

What do you say? Thank You.

“Do je, tak, danku, kiitos,dank, ευχαριστία,Mahalo, תודה ,Spasibo, Hvala, Gracias,  tack, diolch,Ca’m on, merci!”

There are so many ways to say thank you, and I’ve spent the past few weeks digesting the word. It all started a little while ago when I was with some very dear friends and we were working on art projects. I received a compliment on what I was doing, and in my usual fashion, brushed it off because, well, I didn’t think what I was doing was all that great. I was told to be quiet, and say thank you. I was a little stunned, but in a good way. That, “wow, I’ m coming off as a jerk and I’m not being very grateful for the wonderful statement just made to me” kind of way. So, I said thank you and I really meant it. It wasn’t about me or what I thought.  I was appreciative of the comment, full of thanks and gratitude. So, I wanted to really look at the phrase “Thank you”.

The origin of our English word is most likely from the german word danke, which got jumbled a bit in Middle English to become the word we all know and love as “Thank”.

*side note*I love the etymology of a word) *end side note*

The word can be used in all parts of speech and is defined as:

thank   [thangk] (from

–verb (used with object) express gratitude, appreciation, or acknowledgment to: She thanked them for their hospitality.2.thank god, (used interjectionally to express relief, thankfulness,  etc.) Also, thank goodness, thank heaven.–noun 3.Usually, thanks. a grateful feeling or acknowledgment of a benefit, favor, or the like, expressed by words or otherwise: to return a borrowed book with thanks.–interjection 4.thanks, (used as an informal expression of gratitude, appreciation, or acknowledgment).


5.have oneself to thank, to be personally to blame; have the responsibility: The citizens have only themselves to thank for corruption in government.6.thanks to, because of; owing to: Thanks to good organization and hard work, the benefit concert was a great success.7. thank you, (used interjectionally to express gratitude, appreciation, or acknowledgment, as for a gift, favor, service, or courtesy).Basically, a whole bunch of gratitude, huh?Take a second to chew on the word, roll it around in your mouth like a delicious steak that you’ve just taken a bite of and it’s divine.  That’s how I think the word should feel coming out of our mouths. Not literally like a tasty food, but juicy and savory.How often is the word thanks thrown around? Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got beef with a lot of phrases that just bounce around like a kid on WAY too much Kool-Aid, but thank you? We tell each other thanks for doing this! Thanks for showing up! You just insulted me? Thanks! We even end emails in it. Granted, if  it’s a word to say without thinking about it- it’s not a bad choice. I’m challenging myself to say it with gusto! Say it like I mean it, not just as a placeholder word or because it is appropriate.I want to not dust off a compliment, favor, or service like it’s dust on my shoulder.But because  my heart is full of gratitude. I want to be thanks-full.Yeah, you saw that pun. Sorry.
Would you catch me if I fall for you?

Crunchy leaves make the most satisfying sounds when you step on them. It’s one of my favorite parts of this time of year.

A lot of people that I know will mark fall as their favorite time of year, especially in this area. I agree to some degree, the trees look they are on fire sprinkled on the sides of mountains. It’s absolutely breathtaking and inspiring.As I crunched along tonight, I thought about it. Fall is actually pretty depressing. The trees start to change color as the leaves die, getting ready for a rejuvenating sleep. The animals get busy with preparations to keep themselves alive. There’s always the potential that they didn’t do enough or if they can’t find their food, they’ll die. The earth gets sleepy and quiet, slowing down. And yet we enjoy watching this preparation for sleep.

It just struck me as interesting.So, what’s your favorite season?

“It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.”Theodore Roosevelt

I would most definitely go backpacking through Europe. Cliche, but to see the things I’ve seen in books would be beyond breathtaking.

To each ending there is a beginning

Over the years, I have attempted to journal, blog, dear diary my thoughts/opinions/insanity and have failed. Why join Tumblr? If at first you don’t succeed or something, I suppose.

Don’t get me wrong, I love writing, and there is nothing more satisfying than being able to clearly and with some degree of organization, pour a little bit of your soul into the world/paper/interwebs. I rarely get this happiness, mostly due to myself. I am an incredible hurdle to self fulfillment or that’s what I’m told.

I hope that by not trying to be a quote-unquote blogger, that I might actually attempt to sort out my tangled whimsical brain-and possible make myself or you laugh along the way. I may even get to scratch some things off my bucket list from this catalyst.

So, cheers, to this beginning of the end.

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